I wonder what it will take for me to smile again from within my heart. I know that I wrote that through my photography works, I hope that I can make people smile. But that will be an uphill task when I myself is having trouble doing that. All the issues coming towards me. Who believes in me? And how do I believe in myself? I am nowhere near my goal of becoming a professional photographer. Kevin Ou and Zhang Jingna went through a lot before they made it. I know of 2 other people. She had to struggle hard for school fees, ultimately made it to university and is now a millionaire. Her colleague is also a millionaire who had a tough life as both his parents were drug addicts. I wonder where do they get the strength and the courage to go through everything. Why can't I do the same? Is it possible for me to achieve like just 10% of their success? Do I have the courage to endure through all the setbacks, discouragement? I am tired.